Jared Kelly

@twatterer

Screenwriter: I am steady in morals. Elegant in manners. No peeing in bedroom basins. And still I am doubted.

Photos and Videos by @twatterer

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Great London Signs. One of the best uses of 'etc' you're ever likely to see.

  • 254 days ago via site
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Is your child bored of playing with the same old Disney and Pixar figures? Then why not buy them... NAZI KIDS!

  • 392 days ago via site
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The role Colin Farrell was born to play...

  • 519 days ago via site
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Ever get the feeling your tomato knows more than it's letting on?

  • 543 days ago via site
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Could this be what finally transforms my complete indifference to chocolate?

  • 548 days ago via site
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Ancient mischief and mayhem has finally arrived from America. First edition, too! Yippee! :) FEED MY BRAIN!

  • 553 days ago via site
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Ooo, my Christmas supplies have finally arrived! Sláinte!

  • 570 days ago via site
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It's 106 miles to the park, we got a full tank of gas, a pack of smelly cheese... and I'm not wearing sunglasses.

  • 582 days ago via site
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Friend just sent me the ultimate dog 'going to a birthday party' outfit. :)

  • 585 days ago via site
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Sitting there alone at the table I suddenly had the unnerving sensation of a terrifying presence in the room...

  • 639 days ago via site
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I feel I should just say...

  • 716 days ago via site
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Planning meetings I wish I had been at... "Hey, I've got a brilliant idea for a new cycle lane."

  • 735 days ago via site
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De Niro... De Faro... splendido!

  • 756 days ago via site
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Egg roulette...

  • 794 days ago via site
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Caught between the celestial beauty of the Champagne Mystic and the gorgeous Welsh Witch.

  • 810 days ago via site
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Dog waiting patiently for ice cream.

  • 817 days ago via site
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Blimey! Trotters who look like Benedict Cumberhatch!

  • 844 days ago via site
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"... and he will build castle battlements to maintain his rule over his domain."

  • 851 days ago via site
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You know what they say, "Give a cat a ladder and an empty wall..."

  • 851 days ago via site
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I feel my fridge and I have come to an understanding.

  • 894 days ago via site
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