I am a common snapping turtle. I like to tell you about turtle, tortoise, and terrapin news.
We should stay outside today human.
I am profound.
Here I am on my blue rock. Does my tail look bad?
Here is my new home. I need shallow water because I cannot see well.
Oh, human. Is it time for me to go back in the water again? I do not like being this dry.
I wonder if human will mind if I play its game?
Don't judge me.
There is no turtle here, only strawberries.
Am napping in the warm spot.
It is this, @sgrsickness!
A preview of what human and I are up to.
S-t-o-r-a-g-e E-x-p-a-n-s-i-o-n? Can I upgrade my shell here?
Have conquered human's arm.
I am bored. Entertain me, humans.
4 months ago, I was roughly the same size as this quarter. Do you see how big I've gotten since?
I can pinch very hard with my pointy jaw. Fingers best not wander into my tub, humans.
Am bigger, and even more skeptical of your behavior, humans.
TAKE ME OUT N...zzzz...
Do you hear me, human? TAKE ME OUT.
DO NOT WANT TO BE IN TUB
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