I am a common snapping turtle. I like to tell you about turtle, tortoise, and terrapin news.
Here is the egg again. Still no name. Human is beginning to have doubts about it hatching.
Wide-eyed baby, @buzzfeed. Wide-eyed baby.
I'm too sexy for my shell. (Human is abusing filters again.)
Here is my new secret base! Human says we might need a bigger tub before I can use it.
Hello internet. I'm here to take you on a date.
The only oil this turtle wants to be covered in is pizza grease.
Here is your obligatory me-in-a-towel picture.
The Spotted Turtle was a lucky turtle.
Our visitor is taking a tour of the house.
Here are some of the scars on his shell.
Here is his poor foot.
Here is our visitor.
I looked like this eight months ago. Human saved my life.
Here is a preview of what human and I are working on for World Turtle Day.
I still don't have a suitable name for my egg.
That's right. I am the king of the nerd turtles.
I am funky looking here. Human needs to stop playing with filters.
It is beautiful outside.
Human put the egg under saran wrap and told me it's my job to watch it.
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