Warren

@tumour

STOP FOLLOWING ME!

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New 'convienience' store opened near us. You think the sign writer charges by the letter?

I'm boycotting the new series of Mad Dogs. I cannot stand Jim Davidson.

Batte?

Kodak 'no longer playing catch up' as it reveals new camera.

He's hardly aged.

Just finished Morrissey's M tattoo for him. Hope he likes it.

What have you got for a fiver?

"Thanks, Spidey, now back to the studio."

Room for one more on top?

We're gonna need a bigger oven.

Back, for one day only #stickoftheday

'exactly'???

Pass this on. Many thanks!

Spotted Eamonn Holmes the other day. Still got an eye for the ladies.

Nothing says 'fun treat' like...

You had me at 'noodles individually handmade'

That must smart

They were always going to arouse suspicion. Should have tried opening one in Knightsbridge.

Can't believe that the press hasn't noticed that Ed Miliband is Geri Halliwell's new chauffeur