I have severe commitment issues to my Twitter bio.
1994 or 2010?
These things are amazing! I can't prove they're made of heroine, but I also can't prove they're not.
I feel much safer in case there's a comically large fire.
Straight from the streams of Volva... :-/
Mazal tov to @BrettTheIntern and @rachel_flori who are officially enGAYged after exchanging unicorn key covers.
Dammit! My ambitiousness made a name for someone else! But you said...ohhhhh I see what you did there.
This panda express fortune cookie is definitely choosing it's words carefully in case it isn't right.
If this shirt was truly made by a dyslexic person it would have been spelled correctly. Irony.
Either this guy is terrible at math or he's making excuses for having one seventh of a beer
Best Buy has a whole Beatles section. Sploosh.
Bed, Bath, and Beyond just earned the right to keep "beyond" in their title with this one.
This Charlie guy does things right. A reserved parking spot for whichever girl is coming over to do him.
That's a whole lot of pages to say "Totally put out last night."
Chicago update: Kuma's Corner now Kuma's Coma after this fantastic burger Rec. by @eigtba
If I drink enough green beer today my piss should be green by st. Patricks day #gameplan
Ah, yes. The monkey's natural diet: a paper bag.
Chicago. Directed by Tim Burton.
Potbelly subs = amazing! Everything Quiznos wanted to be but never could. So fresh and tasty and perfectly spicy.
Here we go!
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