I can't believe people have unfollowed me just because I haven't tweeted for two years. I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017.
There are quite a few things about this poster that I find amusing.
My recently purchased coconut water, in both English and French. It's the ultimate thirst quencher.
@EnemyOfChaos I can see you!
Because you demanded it. A page of today's Guardian converted into comic sans.
Get your Soho Fire memorial coin! While stocks last!
I'm nowhere near Soho fire. Can't send the BBC a photo, so am having to do a sketch instead.
The results of the great Twitter snog survey.
My feet on Saturday evening. Covered in tiny ridges from wearing new sports socks.
@davidschneider I genuinely did see a Michael Jackson ghost. Near Ally Pally station.
Tsk. The Sun have mucked it up. Instead of Michael Jackson, they've done Ross Kemp.
I've digitally inserted myself into the Blur concert. See if you can spot me.
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