I can't believe people have unfollowed me just because I haven't tweeted for two years. I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017.
Pina COladas. Like creamy boobs.
"All is not well in Toyland". Oh 99p shop, how you mock me.
New shirt, clippered haircut and trimmed beard. Note the empty Pringles tube in background.
@hencehemmo I'm enjoying your TV appearance but slightly confused by all the sex toys.
My book alongside @enemyofchaos's own literary triumph. Both at Big Green Bookshop.
Haringey has passed a new law. Every shop has to direct people to the nearest Burger King.
Mark and @simontkey in The Big Green Bookshop. Simon is pretending he's in Ned's Atomic Dustbin.
The melee outside of Primark. I can't be bothered to put an acute accent on melee. Sorry.
Wood Green, today. There's a Subway. There's a KFC. In the distance you can see Primark crowds.
Yesterday's spanish omellete from Casa Pepe. The dim lighting does not do it justice.
People often ask me how small I am. The answer is: very small (probably not safe for work).
Today's trending topics, now featuring @hencehemmo.
I don't understand these adverts, but I see them everywhere.
To be fair, he does use a very large pen.
The Sun have no right to complain about Mr Brown's handwriting.
The Man Who Fell Asleep mug, as once available on Cafepress.
Today's mento-cultural news diagram. Avoid it at your peril.
@iamjamesward and @hencehemmo. I am first and foremost an artist.
I'm quite sad that when I was a child I didn't get an anti-terrorism car.
My breakfast/lunch/brunchfast today. It may be a contributing factor in my fatness.
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