I can't believe people have unfollowed me just because I haven't tweeted for two years. I will return to Twitter on September 14th 2017.
Rain. Rain. Rain.
A woman is shouting about Jesus. As I write this tweet a man approaches me to offer personal training sessions.
Here is a photo of Ed Balls's shoes. They are quite normal shoes.
These are strawberry lances. They are not strawberry laces. No. Not at all. Not strawberry laces.
It's absolutely sickening how just a few rich people control so much of the world's wealth.
At my mum's, looking through my grandfather's old magazines and journals.
@wowser @gdorean Lovely.
The nipples are too prominent.
Cameron and Clegg 'swap bodies'.
Say what you will about Greece's Golden Dawn, they're the only party whose logo is a semi-completed game of Snake.
Jessie J stares at the magical gnome that only she can see. It tells her TERRIBLE things.
Danny's features are all collected in the middle of his face.
Look at Tom's tiny legs.
That Observer Twitter article really is ridiculous.
the kids party is in Golders Green.
An amazing hi-definition photo of the Supermoon over London.
Here is an example of a typical W5 bus route, as improvised by a "jazz" driver.
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