The Turtle 

@the_turtle

#fridayfacts lives here. Tune in for chicken flavor updates, wabbit pictures, lots of foul language when I talk about stupid people. Dedicated absurdist.

Photos and Videos by @the_turtle

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it's that beefy tractor on the right. Google and Yahoo tremble before it.

Here you go! I also have a rake. And seven tractors...

This, gentlemen, is a ribeye sandwich!

Again, I remind you of the sense of scale I have to deal with, here...

Who is a ridiculously cute and porky wabbit? Yeah, I know, but don't tell HIM...

The kit will speak to you from his social media office now...

Where I come from, bumper stickers go on your refrigerator or freezer. This is in the wabbit barn:

Jeez, lookit them ears! He is quite dedicated to feed these days, to the point of sitting on it.

like this. Yeah.

My vet is serious.

Katie is in the bedroom tonight because I am trapping Mr. Possum in the barn.

Brak is shedding some. Sorry. We'll bring out the ShopVac in the morning.

I'm Barack Obunny, and I approve eating GOP balls for breakfast.

The President, Barack Obunny, will accept your questions and Romaine lettuce now.

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Barack Obunny.

Katie couldn't even wait for me to get out of the car earlier. I chased Mr. Possum away LAST night!

yeah, OK...

See! I'm innocent! Innocent! Rick! Hide me! Riiiiiiick! (Blam, blam)

I replaced this flytrap less than 24 hours ago! Arrr!