Konstantine Simakis


Jokes! Also sometimes other things.

Photos and Videos by @surprisinger

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Now reporting for ESPN... Michele Bachmann?

  • 1891 days ago via site
  • 94

This happened a while ago now, but tell me it wouldn't have broken YOUR heart too. #allinthetiming

...and west side:

  • 1934 days ago via site
  • 77

My locations for the last year, pinpointed by my secret iPhone CIA Templar tracking device; in 2 parts. East side:

  • 1934 days ago via site
  • 71

A South African visited my blog after googling "porn for women who sked of big pennis." Mysteriously heartbreaking

  • 1935 days ago via site
  • 66


  • 1940 days ago via site
  • 76

Public Radio International requested tagline suggestions for its new window decals. So psyched they're considering mine!

Chelsea's not the only famous daughter with a wedding scheduled for this weekend... [via reddit]

  • 2217 days ago via site
  • 486

Hey, Facebook, your Cleveland algorithm IS FUCKING BROKEN.

  • 2240 days ago via site
  • 73

I'm in the men's room at McCarran Airport. Check out these dueling graffiti geniuses!

Hoover Dam, I wish I was your lover.

They serve mayonnaise with French fries in Amsterdam! Plus, you'll never guess what the French call a Big Mac...

Atlas Sound (dude from Deerhunter) @ the 40 Watt.

Forcing my friends to listen to "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again." Aforementioned skyline:

Found a crazy bug in UNCHARTED 2's Turkish museum that sends Drake floating into space & reveals a bunch of fun stuff.

I'm super flattered this used-car dealership designed a whole ad campaign around me. What were the odds!?

Hey Minneapolis airport, WTF? Is Michele Bachmann behind this somehow?

Portrait of a KILLER.

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