295 days ago from site
Read The Fucking Document
305 days ago from site
I'm a layerin' motherFUCKER, Pt 2 "This Time It's Personal"©
312 days ago from site
Proof that Change is reality: Gray stache hair changing back to brown. When do I start looking like Brad Pitt?
312 days ago from site
What? No, I'm just happy to see President Barack Hussein Obama. Glad I wrote that note: http://tr.im/note2self
315 days ago from site
Brainstorming this survey response: http://twitpic.com/13ib0
316 days ago from site
√ Yes, it's time to make an update and get away from the juvenile jokes.
324 days ago from site
You can put a douche in a Lexus, but you know, he's still a douche. (Further proof can be found in the location.)
331 days ago from site
This is turkey-bacon I can fully support. Does this mean we're closer to Nirvana, or The Apocalypse?
332 days ago from site
334 days ago from site
Cop at the pet cemetery has a hunch about the parrot. Yes, it's true. He suspects fowl play.
339 days ago from site
Our duplex, every year. Care to guess which side is mine? If you guessed "The Dark Side," you win cookies. C'mon over!
340 days ago from site
The things you learn on Twitter! I had no idea @tewha was @jackholt's father!
340 days ago from site
"I'm so cute, I can't stand myself."
340 days ago from site
With the ongoing daytime downturn, it's more important than ever for kitties to bask in sunbeams.
342 days ago from site
Twitter's latest way of fucking up makes it look like the Germans have learned a new dance. Which would be an accomplishment in itself.
343 days ago from site
I challenge anyone to make Bud worse than it already is. You can't do it... Huh? EWWWW!!
343 days ago from site
We have to add an ineffectual disclaimer sig. to our emails. But they didn't say WHAT KIND of English to use...
345 days ago from site
The kid's putting on his fire-hatin' face. The musclehead just hates us mouse-potatoes.
360 days ago from site
An-a one, an-a two... Two of my favorite ladies doing a dance number in honor of my joke. I'm touched...
375 days ago from site
This is what the Obama - McCain meeting looked like to me.
