55 days ago from site  
Here is @vmarinelli, pre-zombie-bite. (Post-bite is here: http://bit.ly/oUw5P)
69 days ago from site  
So this is when we make fun of Tumblr on Twitter, right? Turnabout, etc? Guys? GUYS?
195 days ago from site  
205 days ago from site  
I came to a fork in the road and I took the one less flattened.
205 days ago from site  
We're getting a new iPhone, Mac tablet, AND Apple store! They KNOW where the sign is. Can't THEY say where the closest store is?
206 days ago from site  
Geez. Now Ashton's page had a similar glitch. Guess I can look forward to new borquitude when I approach a million.
206 days ago from site  
http://tr.im/j17g During the Great Race To One MegaTwit, there was a glitch on CNN's page, making it 1st to get over a million.
223 days ago from site  
223 days ago from site  
This ice cream is so fucking New England, you drop your R's simply walking by it.
230 days ago from site  
251 days ago from site  
Evidence in support of @toldorknown's tweet: http://tr.im/knowlton
254 days ago from site  
FALSE ADVERTISING! *Mammoth* was America's original red meat. I'd love me a mammoth & cheese sub.
256 days ago from site  
Nothing will make you suddenly tighten your sphincter like scrolling to this on Google News.
261 days ago from site  
The ladies like the "fridge doorman" concept. I can use this data! Hm. Monetize or get laid? http://tr.im/doorman
263 days ago from site  
Told you.
265 days ago from site  
Buck up, Bro. That's nothing compared to running the Tisha B'Av 10K in Zyklon sneakers.
265 days ago from site  
The aforementioned "dump" truck. Thanks for taking a load off!
267 days ago from site  
No, I like to HOBBLE Santa so he can THINK about the time he didn't bring me Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots when I was 6.
268 days ago from site  
269 days ago from site  
Netflix slaves must wear red Netflix shirts so that when they're shot after escaping, the shirt can be reused immediately.
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About
Name ʇɐɥs sɐ ʇɹɐɯs
Location Boldly Going Nowhere
Bio These are the voyages of the Starship Euphemize. Its 5 yr mission: To explore strange new words, to seek out new jokes and new implications.
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