Esoteric film reference meant to slyly convey intellectual prowess. Hilarious observation about feminine hygiene vs fucking. Fatuous attempt to be droll. Fin.
Oh, hey, @PrisonEraMarthaStewart! It is SO good to finally see shit get this REAL for you, girl!! #pride #wreath
Thanks so much, @dave_schilling, but I AM ALREADY THERE. :(
ohhhhhh my god will you just PLEASE STFU ALREADY?! #blocked
(yes, Dad, i TOTALLY hear you, i am "not connected to the internet" and i will be quiet for a minute)
For reals, @CindyCrawford, I fear that you MAY have "radiant skin" & "florid bruising" semi-confused. (it happens)
OK, #Captcha, we, uhhh, have to talk... but I don't even know what planet you're from anymore, so screw it.
this is why twitter is somewhat better than bacon on occasion, however briefly...
Great minds may think alike, but the *dancing*? THIS is partly why I love me some sugarpants... #FF @MrSugarpants1
On occasion, the stars align just so, and I find myself helpless...
Seriously: WHAT fresh hell is THIS, Twitter???? Fuck off, I'm moving to Favstar...
Wish I am here. No, wish y'all was there. No, wish I was am. No, I am be here. (5th Bloody Mary always the worst.)
Was gonna change my avi for Halloween (finally decided to go as my right retina), but it was too scary even for ME.
And THIS'S what sad, dumbass women look like an hour later (yeah, those're grapestains & no, I cannot take pictures).
THIS is what karma does to dumbass women who bitch on Twitter about neurotic yellow-signal observers.
Teach a man to fish AND how to ride a bike, & you're likely to confuse the apparent fuck outta him.
Perhaps I'm being overly critical, but has Sophia Coppola, like, REALLLY let herself go?
Thanx, Twitter, for keeping me mirthfully & atypically lawful while the redflag was up. It's down, I'm OUTTA here.
Gimme pearls! Preferably in necklace form... Then leave me to my place of shaaaaaame...
Came outta this for a fresh beer, and got caught back on Twitter. Something seriously the fuck wrong w/me.
What's the polar opposite of J-Date.com? I have a profile headline for sale, should such a thing exist...
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