Emmm A. Deee

@shelldash

Esoteric film reference meant to slyly convey intellectual prowess. Hilarious observation about feminine hygiene vs fucking. Fatuous attempt to be droll. Fin.

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Oh, hey, Stewart! It is SO good to finally see shit get this REAL for you, girl!! #pride #wreath

  • 620 days ago via site
  • 71

Thanks so much, , but I AM ALREADY THERE. :(

  • 627 days ago via site
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ohhhhhh my god will you just PLEASE STFU ALREADY?! #blocked

  • 631 days ago via site
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(yes, Dad, i TOTALLY hear you, i am "not connected to the internet" and i will be quiet for a minute)

  • 631 days ago via site
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For reals, , I fear that you MAY have "radiant skin" & "florid bruising" semi-confused. (it happens)

  • 633 days ago via site
  • 50

OK, #Captcha, we, uhhh, have to talk... but I don't even know what planet you're from anymore, so screw it.

  • 648 days ago via site
  • 180

this is why twitter is somewhat better than bacon on occasion, however briefly...

  • 652 days ago via site
  • 33

Great minds may think alike, but the *dancing*? THIS is partly why I love me some sugarpants... #FF

  • 658 days ago via site
  • 52

On occasion, the stars align just so, and I find myself helpless...

  • 980 days ago via site
  • 38

Seriously: WHAT fresh hell is THIS, Twitter???? Fuck off, I'm moving to Favstar...

  • 1012 days ago via site
  • 79

Wish I am here. No, wish y'all was there. No, wish I was am. No, I am be here. (5th Bloody Mary always the worst.)

  • 1034 days ago via site
  • 53

Was gonna change my avi for Halloween (finally decided to go as my right retina), but it was too scary even for ME.

  • 1041 days ago via site
  • 55

And THIS'S what sad, dumbass women look like an hour later (yeah, those're grapestains & no, I cannot take pictures).

THIS is what karma does to dumbass women who bitch on Twitter about neurotic yellow-signal observers.

Teach a man to fish AND how to ride a bike, & you're likely to confuse the apparent fuck outta him.

Perhaps I'm being overly critical, but has Sophia Coppola, like, REALLLY let herself go?

Thanx, Twitter, for keeping me mirthfully & atypically lawful while the redflag was up. It's down, I'm OUTTA here.

  • 1146 days ago via site
  • 33

Gimme pearls! Preferably in necklace form... Then leave me to my place of shaaaaaame...

Came outta this for a fresh beer, and got caught back on Twitter. Something seriously the fuck wrong w/me.

What's the polar opposite of J-Date.com? I have a profile headline for sale, should such a thing exist...

  • 1165 days ago via site
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