writer & mommy blogger who loves wine, talking about vaginas & watching midget porn. oh yeah, i have 4 kids and i'm funny as hell. and smokin hot. just ask me.
According to the AgingBooth app on my phone, the future looks not so good FOR MY FACE. Photoshop stat! #agingbooth
Look what came in the mail today! (I love this shirt). Now to go visit my grandmother.
Sleeping in. (it's 9:30!)
Wanna see the cover of my new book? I fucking LOVE it!
Behold. Mashed potato sandwich. (it's like you guys are from another planet!)
I'm starting a new website called The People of Home Depot.
This is what semi-deranged 40 year old women do on a Friday nights. (Don't hate the player, hate the game)
@GeorgeGSmithJr you're missing the fun! (cc: @laughmom @dbinkowski)
Look @barefootfoodie @jenbshaw @alimartell @AMomTwoBoys Frozen Hot Chocolate!
We've only been in NYC six hours and we're already on the big screen in Times Square!
Twitter, HELP! I know I should know who this actor is but I can't FOR THE LIFE of me think of his name.
I can't even begin to understand how one can "suspend" oneself like this during sex.
Getting ready to leave for NYC!
@NonaNelson here you go. Cheers!
I feel like I should help him out here but I'm too busy laughing. Oh and taking pictures.
When I make this face I have no wrinkles. Wonder how long I can hold it.
Why yes I think I would.
Is it wrong to think your brother is hot? Because DAMN my brother is hot!
SO excited about what @MariaMelee designed for me!
This goes out to all you boys.
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