The good news: I've started a fashion for one single white fingerless opera glove.

Why your Christmas card from me might look like it came from a serial killer.

Me and my gammy wrist curled up with a battered old Trollope.

So it turns out putting make up on with a broken wrist is a bit tricky. Approximately look like this.

No caption.

Ah yes, I knew Nick Griffin reminded me of someone. #fathitler

Still my fave pic of big brave Fat Hitler.

@diparkhouse Righto.

OK @diparkhouse, here's your picture. It is a cat wearing glasses.

Another one of my razor sharp camera phone images. You can't tell, but it's Luke Haines.

@ladysov You are looking impressively statuesque.

The results of the posh girls' names survey are now in. Thanks to all who voted, but democracy is the real winner.

Polly Scattergood (@pollyworld) sings Puff The Magic Dragon with @amandapalmer on piano. Blur factor: a mere 6.5

@amandapalmer and @neilhimself duet. Blur factor: 9

Amanda Palmer's acapella introduction - Union Chapel. Blur factor: 8

The robot gigolo doesn't even look that keen. What a swizz.

Handpamphlet: the logo. The empire begins... If only Heather Locklear's manager hadn't taken out that injunction.

I'm not at all patriotic, but isn't British countryside the best? (taken earlier, before inevitable July rainstorm)

Apparently this is what MJ would've looked like without surgery. Sigh.