Mike Phirman

@phirm

I halve problems!

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(Try that again.) I say, it will live here. Forever.

It will live here. Forever.

#tbt

Yes! My stack of Carl's Jr. recyclables also loves it.

For the cover I want Gillian Jacobs, Scott Aukerman & the girl from KickAss.
"sir our budget is $6"
Oh. Do ur best.

Ha! I was right!

I'd like to add this sock to the "In Memorium". (See previous tweet about a purple crayon getting into the dryer.)

Wait... aren't ALL of your sales blow out sales?

Poster for my new movie, "Drag Me to Fun!"

From the bottom of my family... Merry Christmas!

My local market just jumped up a few notches. ( )

Here's an EXCLUSIVE sneak preview of a song I'll be releasing in a few days.

Adorable. She even has a sense of humor.

That was really good, but I wouldn't say he's right about EVERYTHING.

I'm pretty sure he lives on this street.

My son saw the website I mentioned yesterday, and now he can do this.

#DowntonPBS Idea: Mr. Carson learns that his illegitimate son w/ Lady Delvecchio has moved to Milwaukee. #yepyepyep

It's compact, microwaveable, and on its last nerve!

Oh shit! Now they're coming after !!! #teamPandS