Writer of telly & comedy. Irish. (Not the fecking poet; so stop 'reading @philiplarkin in the bath', unless you're my agent.)
Sure. RT “@denice81: @philiplarkin Have you got a Roxanne one?”
So ye wanted to see my Alex Reid impression? Very well.
Get the weirdest messages on Facebook.
@jameshamilton Haha. Awkward...
There's eh… um… lady, there's a flag stuck in your weave. #Obama2012
The ever CREEPY Daily Mail:
My wee cousin & her pal made their Hallowe'en costume this year. An original.
Sitting working with @HRFMichael/ Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Need a handyman? Call Handy Man Tam. No job too small.
Mind out Ramon, you clumsy bastard.
Mind that guy ye used to call 'carrot top' at school? He's done alright for himself.
'Aye, I'm sure she's good & all but when I said 'Dragons' Den' I didnae actually mean DRAGONS' Den.'
Anyone else scream JUMP at the opening credits of Dragon's Den?
I reckon they should up the ante & have the candidates sit shoulder to shoulder. 1st to break the line wins. #debates
So aye. Here's my formal response to the lovely, polite, good natured folk at ______, Glasgow.
Is that… is that Nic Cage?
Rupert the Bear's creepy human uncle on Come Dine With Me.
The 'Dreamworks' robot.
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