Writer of telly & comedy. Irish. (Not the fecking poet; so stop 'reading @philiplarkin in the bath', unless you're my agent.)
@MarloMeekins Watch yo' back, Meekins; someone's not happy.
@stuheritage Can't wait to see you in this, mate.
This mad Partick cunt on Google Streetview. Fair play.
Rescued a little lamb today; GF took a picture without my knowledge. Was doing a pure heroic danger-face at the time.
@Lynn_McGoo Here, what?
Sightseers. If you haven't seen it yet, give it a shot. My favourite film of 2012.
Hey there, ZEROED inbox! @Mailbox is a dream. #inboxzero
I'm MIGHTY. Thanks, spam mail!
Hey look, I'm a giant (a giant cunt).
I pure LOVE myself.
You can tell I'm working really hard simply by the contents of my cupboard:
BBC Northern Ireland clutching at straws, again.
Freaking out now, you're like 'right, fuck it', and you just whip the blankets off to see what it is. It's this:
Happy Valentines, Nazi fucks.
Getting shot, hit by a car, breaking your nose, breaking anything, death of a loved one, learning you have cancer etc
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