Yes, I really am this awesome.
I should probably note that though I occasionally tweet about work, my work in no way endorses me or my crazy.
I take this shit seriously. And my colleagues are a bunch of thieves... (pink note not mine)
My vet has a great sense of humor
Lets play "What did my dumb dog do while i was out?" #yeshepulledthewholedooroff
He's pretty good at waiting for the all clear before he eats...
My boss brought me a hippo back from Africa because the hippo is the most dangerous animal. #awkwardcommentary
I think I'm in line for Wrath of Khan. I've been grossly misled.
Chocolate chip popcorn cookie. This is a thing...
Father and son day here for the Teslas
Our Dir of Logistics just brought me a 5lb bag of M&Ms. For no reason...
Why yes, that is my copy of @TheBloggess book sandwiched between a biography of Jefferson and Orson Welles. So what?
Oh god, can't they see how sad he is?
He only knows the vet as the place where treats rain down like manna...
My dog sleeps like he desperately in love with my living room rug...
Target is looking to hire Gallifreyans... #drwho
Lunch at work today...
I'm sure this was intended to be a "fun decorating idea" but it's just really depressing...
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