Can't count, which is fine, because it's not like it's important for my job. I like Red Bull and cheese. Vertically challenged. Work in finance.

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Don't you wish you had a data allowance like me?

Q1. #squizzle

You can borrow mine.

Oooooh close!

Hey , could you ask Sachin Gupta to adopt a cheesier pose next time you photograph him?

Music EVERYWHERE! Mwa-ha-ha-ha.

This is beyond awesome. Armando Iannucci totally owning Alistair Campbell.

Bloody shame about THIS misleading link though, isn't it. FFS.

I designed you a range of accessories. You don't have to use them, but they are there in case you want to.

Hmmm… I appear to have disgruntled your ginger Welsh friend…? Did I say something nasty about the Lost Prophets?

Huh. 3rd paragraph is interesting. #wasntmeguv

Just thought you should know, it's getting ugly out there. #Squizzle

Meanwhile, the Mail hits a double whammy. Cancer, AND a champagne flute giveaway.

That's funny. There seems to be something missing from The Sun front page this morning. I can't quite place it.

Microsoft design team: "Wait until the user is in a hurry to shut down, then make them wait for the updates to install"

When eBay recommendations go bad. (My last purchase was a wall mount for a Dyson handheld…)

I've responded to the bank. Let's hope I haven't missed the deadline.

Thank goodness Dr Bankole got in touch. I was wondering where I'd left my bank card worth $2.8 million.


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