I know how to use the three seashells.

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#Ferguson in a nutshell. (Source: http://bit.ly/1rxfk2U)

I love that my autocorrect capitalizes Fleshlight for me.

CVS has blank VHS tapes on sale if anyone needs 'em.

There's always some asshole on the squat rack doing his pussy-ass arm curls. Let someone do some REAL work in there.

I didn't know you're a bunny owner too! I didn't think I could love you more. Lulu says "Hi Ozzie!"

. relevant:

NASA just Instagrammed a mudslide from space and I'm a bad person because all I could think was "Accidental Dong!"

I didn't really care about Bieber getting arrested until I saw a photo of the arrest... lol

Good Guy Candy Land:

it may not taste as good, but at least I'm not cold or shoveling snow.

Seeing the words "Ron Jeremy Trending" on Facebook just makes me laugh.

Wow. Did you guys know that Facebook won't let you DM links it deems "dangerous"? lol

Can you tell I put cats in this picture?

These two girls spent a long time on this corner, waiting to be noticed, so I thought I'd oblige them.

Dear HuffPo: this is NOT Los Angeles.