I know how to use the three seashells.

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have you already lost your crime cheat sheet? Here:

This is what happens when you try to take a selfie with a bunny.

Yay new iPhone! Now show me Blue Steel!

#Ferguson in a nutshell. (Source: http://bit.ly/1rxfk2U)

I love that my autocorrect capitalizes Fleshlight for me.

CVS has blank VHS tapes on sale if anyone needs 'em.

There's always some asshole on the squat rack doing his pussy-ass arm curls. Let someone do some REAL work in there.

I didn't know you're a bunny owner too! I didn't think I could love you more. Lulu says "Hi Ozzie!"

. relevant:

NASA just Instagrammed a mudslide from space and I'm a bad person because all I could think was "Accidental Dong!"

I didn't really care about Bieber getting arrested until I saw a photo of the arrest... lol

Good Guy Candy Land:

it may not taste as good, but at least I'm not cold or shoveling snow.

Seeing the words "Ron Jeremy Trending" on Facebook just makes me laugh.