Jesus... what.. what.. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS THIS?!?!?!

A child killed a tree?

Finally got my hands on some bottled water. This was the scene at Target. Fa realz.

Boy and I are both loopy on meds. Super cute and smiley. Tunnel vision. Feels like my phone is 30 feet away. Herp derp.

And this cat curled up next to me is also making me not want to move.

I'm really trying to not buy this $500 bike.

Nosebleeds for Britney and Nicki :( oh well

Idgi. Ta coin? Taco in? Fattie.

I'm being lazy and unhealthy tonight. Screw it.

Wait... for real? It's midnight and NINETY DEGREES!?

Riley the retard was licking @englishmuffins' MacBook. When he told Riley to stop, he started licking his toes instead.

Is this how you put tomatoes on a sandwich now?

Amazing roller coasters AND fireworks at @KingsDominionVA. See?

@MattDans @jluis_m ditto

@bowzerscastle

Does Brit see some unicorns or something?

I. Am. Not. Happy.

WTF #FOXNews please go away