My dog has more Instagram followers than you.
What is this... Marlboro Country? #denimdan #canadiantuxedo #levistrauss
Why is there always that one white guy who wears shorts to the store in a snowstorm?
Remember, don't be a jackass - use the "Vampire Technique" when you cough or sneeze.
This is my life.
Hey @FedEx, weird how my dad's Christmas gift went on the truck this morn for delivery, but is now back at warehouse
Randy is on his worst behavior.
Christina Aguilera going for the "Gozer the Gozerian" look tonight on The Voice. #thevoice #VoiceSave #gozer
My old man may be a weirdo, but he's one tough s.o.b. Successful quadruple bypass this morning.
Parked right in the middle of the parking lot aisle. Need to drive thru? Well, fuck me then, I guess. What a jackass.
@B_MoreFanatic tragedy strikes again!
Working all day on a Saturday while listening to Atari Teenage Riot makes me wanna punch somebody in the mouth.
@B_MoreFanatic what a bummer, dude
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