Matty

@ma0tty

22. College senior. Never a dull moment, but everything happens for a reason. Also, I hate Taylor Swift. Instagram: ma0tty.

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I wonder how mad XTina is that she didn't say, "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" during her drunk arrest. #drunkwitherspoon

i must've really pissed off Mark Zuckerberg at some point to have such horrifying ads appear on my Facebook page.

They picked a girl that looks like a serial killer for their ad. Are they aware…?

Classy popup banner #boobs.

Please look at the first comment…#clASSy

Not mad about playing #DonkeyKong for the first time in ten years. Did we ever decide if Diddy was a boy or a girl?

My introduction involves a Beyoncé .gif. I'm not kidding. Beyoncé air-humping is my intro.

Most absurd PowerPoint that I've ever made. College is so weird...

One of the more eloquent statuses that I've recently read… #ShoutoutToMyHometown #IdiotsOfFacebook #BUTT

I never thought that I'd be photoshopping Big Macs in college, but DAMN I'm hungry for one (without red buns)!

Having a shitty morning? Just remember that this is what looks like these days. Those cheek implants...

Of course. I gotchu.

Not to be the biggest creeper ever, but the guy that just interviewed me could have been my sibling:

This is - by far - the best ad that has appeared on my #Facebook.

Ugh that guy on #Xfactor has the same peacoat as me and quite obviously looks 1,000,000x better in it. #burningit

My ex-boss from London just sent me this message. I NEED TO FORCE HIM TO HIRE ME SO THAT I CAN BECOME A BRIT! #ilovehim

My ex-boss from London just me this message. I NEED TO FORCE HIM TO HIRE ME SO THAT I CAN BECOME A BRIT! #ilovehim

Stumbled across this on someone from my high school's Facebook page. THIS IS WHY OUR GENERATION IS FUCKED! #LOLing #TMI

The guy who works at the 24-hour Indian fried chicken joint down the block just added me on Facebook. I can die happy.