Sr. editor at @BuzzFeed. i live to own. until the day that god owns me into the great ownage in the sky. email@example.com
Whoa these hot teens were going at it like crazy in midtown #teenlife
The hottest girl by far in this bar is with a guy wearing these sandals
@beebee880 you must be my good luck charm - I'm on the bus right now!
Supermarket rebranding on the fly: ugly ---> "heirloom"
Cooking for a dinner party tonight, not sure what to make; looking to the advice of my two best girls
Rain was too hard to get a cab; killed time eating repulsive stuff at Katz's
Epic battle of adorbs vs voms: grocery store cat stalking and eating a enormous cockroach
I painted this because I am a serious (paint by numbers) artist
@movingsideways @white_lightning @kurtbraunohler ok it's not the Real Deal, but I saw this Rocky Dennis lookalike
This is when I watched @white_lightning getting touched by a goat tongue. A goat, see? GOATSEE.
Two bros went shopping at Tiffany's
A bro feeding an alpaca bro
My account has been kicked off Google+. I want some sort of lifetime underachievement award.
GQ Teen of the Year! @teendad13 in this month's GQ bit on funny twitters by Patton Oswalt
lol if you don't use the Kate Beckinsdale theme for iGoogle home
Excellent: when Medieval Times replies to their customer service email, their greeting is, "Lady Notopoulos,".
WTF @GuyFieri and @steveharwell1 just did a drive-by egging of my house and flipped me the bird.
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