My anaconda don't want none because Nicki Minaj is awful
Somewhere underneath all that is my new buddy, Bill. Say hi!
Okay, that's funny. Right?
This happened in February 2010. It is now May 2014.
Wonder what's next?
What in the world is wrong with @MarkHalperin? But then, it's not like anybody's watching...
The American people deserve answers, @ThomasARoberts, particularly the Hispanic community.
Kudos to our good friend @TVietor08 for keeping things in perspective.
The more you tell me to shut up, #BenghaziDeniers, the more I will refuse.
Hi, @NASA. Here's my #GlobalSelfie, as I burn these dangerous tires before they can pollute the planet. Yay me!
Ain't no party like a Joffrey's Dead party 'cause a Joffrey's Dead party don't stop!
Preserved for the sake of posterity. Good job being even dumber than usual, @Deadspin. :)
Wasting your money and lying to you about it is a given. @DarrellIssa getting fed up with an idiot is an outrage.
Dear @SenatorReid: Your move, creep.
.@TheDCVince is an expert headline-writer. And a pretty good assassin, if you're on a budget.
I love my job. And that I can now do it from my real home. http://dailycaller.com
Any publicity is good publicity. Right, @MHarrisPerry?
Whole hand is wrapped up, halfway to my elbow.
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