I should count my blessings. The @StateDept merely crippled me for life. It's not like they sent me to #Benghazi.

Good morning, @googlemaps. Say, which "low-level employee" labeled the AEI building "The Heart of Darkness"?

For people who've been asking about my knee, here's where things stand at present. (Get it??)

This headline isn't mine either (dammit). I'm just preserving it for history.

I can't take credit for this headline. But let's face it, I probably will.

Good point, Julia Roberts. Also, "liberal" comes in the dictionary just after "liar" and just before "lichen."

"Why" indeed, @HuffingtonPost? We may never really know. #BostonMarathon #Watertown

.@MrRichPeoples seriously just said this to me, and now she's backing away like a little bitch.

And here's @Politico's #Watertown self-parody. It's KILLING them that this wasn't their political opponents.

It's impossible to parody the @NYTimes any better than they do themselves. #Watertown

Something tells me we're not going to be hearing a whole lot more about the ricin guy...

For posterity: The @WashingtonPost said @DavidCornDC "may have struck gold" with the "bombshell" McConnell audio.

Saved for posterity. You're always good for a laugh, @daveweigel!

I think he's hiding from the Annoying Orange...

Gunner Joe, courtesy of Business Insider: http://www.businessinsider.com/joe-biden-shotgun-earthquakes-2013-1

You guys did something important today. For our president. For the children. For America. I'm very proud of you.

Unionism in microcosm: Destroying a business, then standing around watching someone else clean up.

Anybody recognize the creep who attacked @scrowder?

#Benghazi

Just think how much tighter his jaw would've gotten if Romney had actually called him out on Benghazi.