I once discussed string theory with a toaster oven. Came to a consensus that aside from mere particle physics, it can..DING...YAY TOAST IS DONE.
Happy Buttslide Humpday!
Have we reached "Peak Nicolas Cage" yet?
Go home Carly, you're drunk. #orjustsuckatbaseball #eitheror
No matter how funny your last tweet was, Morrissey and Grumpy Cat will frown at it. Together. In mutual gloom.
fuck yeah. #sparkleponies
If this fully replaces Tebowing...so be it.
Yesterday, I apparently I put a bird on her head. Because, why not.
I see @Grantland33 isn't immune to unintentional humor... #oops
meant to say, here in Seattle it's not offensive to tell someone "go eat a BAG of dicks"
here in Seattle, it's not offensive to tell someone "go eat a back of dicks"
I....actually doodled this in my office today. #productive
Meanwhile, at CNN....
pretty much all I bring with me to work. including the sticky note where I demand validation.
Quite simply, the only appropriate course of action #IMABLOWFISH!
This fella literally cannot stay still for a mere second. And, we get to watch him this weekend.
Our biggest help in the "war on terror" is the fact the actual terrorists are mostly fucking idiots.
holy shit #OKC
Not sure what's the better caption..."Team I Need a Life" or "Team Cottage Cheese"
That box of Thin Mints? Just realized they've been sitting on my desk for at least two months. Oh well.
One trip to the weedy corner of our backyard should tell you just how avid a cyclist I am.
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