Jordan Zakarin


Writer, editor and a third snarky, esoteric and thus kind of ironic adjective.

Photos and Videos by @jordanzakarin

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I'm dreaming of a white Boxing Day. The view of snow in NYC, from my window.

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Really, I was modeling.

I need to know where this statistic came from

Best piece of mail ever: birthday cupcake from The Sims:

Gonna go meet some promising baby so I had to buy a gift. Good historical precedent with this one:

Blaxploitation film in Dutch at a DC market:

My purchase at the company closet sale. It was $5, aka a fucking steal. Totally ripped off the Haitians it benefited

Original title: "Give Up and Be a Good Robot"

These bad boys were labeled "juvenile pillows". How fucking offensive. I had to rescue them from the clear idiots at that store.

I found this on my desk this morning. No one is taking responsibility. I think it's a threat:

Got the topping ingredients. Now time to crush them. I wanna do it Dexter-style, maybe it'll solve some of my issues.

Somewhere, a seven year old got his first boner

Monkey Robot Chimpions!

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