Just told my daughter she gotta step up her Dookie Game ~ "Boo Boo in the pants after 2 we don't do"

#SweetIrony ~ Mavs win #Finals in MIA. Cuban drops more dough @ClubLiv than any #Heat plyr would hav spent ~ 200K

"Amerrrrica, Amerrrrica, God shed his grace on theeee... "

Dayum! They stole ur daddy's moonshine recipe @DuleHill #Lawsuit

Cellphone Talking & Driving Ticket = $159 > Bose Bluetooth Earpiece = $149 Yeeeaah I'm Saving #iLoveLA

#CNN I'm gonna need you to hit that spell-check button a little more often

Getting my community service on in the RAIN for @NBAAllStar I couldve painted those checkered squares ALL DAY #Soothing

My NBA Aunt Leah recruits me to do community service in the rain for #NBAAllStar Dedication Baby

#PSA Beware of the Buttpad Fellas!! These chicks are putting wonder bras on the booty now.

For those of U who R truly on ur Sneaker Game, U will paint UR toenails orange & ROCK THESE, Son!

Whatchoo know about this banana ketchup, Tweeples? On some seasoned fries... #OFFtheCHAIN!

All the inspiration I need to reach new heights... xoxo... Show my baby a kinder, gentler world please

#ThisIsJustWrong :-O

THINGS ABOUT L.A. THAT DON'T GET ENOUGH PRESS- Red Velvet Pancakes @TheGriddleCafe will make you SLAP a stranger in the face, they really dat good.

Things that inspire Tyler Perry Movie Titles

Caught a stern lecture f/my agent today. Change my hairstyle & "stay relevant" or find new reps :(

Seriously?? Who is this Bougie Negro on ski vacay, sippin' espresso w/his pinky extended? That's how we doin it?

Actin a fool in da snow. It's mad cold where I am right now, SON.

Actin a fool in da snow. It's mad cold where I am right now, SON.

GM Unveils City Car of the Future- Bananas! The Jetsons cartoon was like a crystal ball into modern times. How did Jim Carrey, in his prime, get away w/NOT playing George Jetson??? Dangit