Here is my robot. Run, townsfolk, run! 

Here is my artist's impression of the au pairs' bums (front & back). Please note the teeth. I'm sure it had teeth. 

@sparkyt79 

The news. Almost.

Today's newspaper headline had things gone differently yesterday... @bourbonroad

On the left, me. On the right, my new best mate @DaveGorman. He is much funnier than penile warts. 

Drink number 3. Hic. Burp.

Drink number 1. Burp.

@gdorean @Eamonn_Forde Here he is. Can't see his face to identify him though. Annoying.

@Eamonn_Forde @gdorean The Scargill pic is good, but I like this better...

@the_overfed Hope you're not in Dundee bus station then. They are the phlegm gestapo.

Just taken in Dundee Bus Station loos. What is it about Dundee men's spit that the bus station toilets abhor?

I love that one of my tweets elicited this response from a cunty spambot.

@notthatgirl24 A prime example being this beauty. No memory of this at all. 

@notthatgirl24 Reminds me of the Scottish Cup Final 2010. My team won, I was drunk & singing & dressed like this.

@Lauren_Clark Saved you some! 

@DaveGorman Not that I'm sure you want another toilet wall pic, but I'm sending you it anyway.

@jim_herd @normanmcleod Just took a pic of Shatner looking at the many bargains to be had at the Kingdom Centre.

@jim_herd Further to our discussion yesterday, I got busy last night. @normanmcleod you'll like this too.

@_ScarlettO_ Here you are, with nothing animated or jiggling!