Proud father, husband, geek, gamer, rabble-rouser, gym nut. My mom says I'm cool.
Mrs. Cyrus, you're trying to seduce me.
Ben Affleck as the new Batman? Could be a good look, actually.
And like that, my headache went away and all felt right with the world.
So Andy thinks he can sweep his mulleted past under the rug, eh?
GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. I just blue myself. #ArrestedDevelopment #Season4
Is my little dude handsome or what? He's a keeper. #fatherhood
Oh my. cc: @DoctorDogballs
Rest in peace, George Jones, country music singer and professional Kurt Russel look-alike.
Oh mercy me, this game is hilarious. #OrganTrail
I just made your day with this pic of my disgustingly cute son. You're welcome.
I imagine @woot is like that drinking buddy that's always first to volunteer to pick up the tab.
Fox News admits Obama's victory. Oh god, I can't stop touching myself.
Just finished cutting off a baby's face for Michelle's Halloween outfit. Thinking of donating this to the Walker.
One of these things is not like the other. I blame abstinence-only education. #pregnancy #fail
This shit is getting so fucking out of hand.
Ready for #dragoncon!
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