I slay dragons from the back of a unicorn. I also have a library card. opinions are my own

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Sweet 3GS bro #SHADE

Candy corn Oreos? DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!

Shit just got real.

Fun story: this shopping cart has been at the corner of Haskell and Lemmon for 2weeks now.

oh my… I did a test on AT&T a few ago (I’m always complaining about AT&T, but damn, Sprint)

So this bitch…

see, not that complicated

We might get hate-crimed here

me too!!

My house guest is popular #PopularityLeadsToContempt #KarmaChameleon

saw your doppelgänger during morning programming #AdventuresInBabysitting

I've got this to go with my #iPhone6 #AdventuresInBabysitting

Y'all, it's #iPhone6

based on our conversation today, I thought I should act quickly... Where's yours? CC

Carmen Carrera just showed.up.

Oh hey Raja... Fancy seeing you here #Queen

Someone just dropped their collar. This place is amazing. #Queen

I made this image to sum up your thoughts.

My ass is hanging over the sides of the stool at Chipotle. #FatAss

5 spaces for 3 cars. Douches.