We are not journalists. We do not write for the Daily Mail. We do not think coffee gives you cancer. We happen to think immigration makes the world interesting.
STUDY: Scientists discover babies seek out what is familiar. Our conclusion? WHITE BABIES ARE RACIST!
CHILCOTT: Reader 'Cicero' has some thoughts on who is responsible for the Iraq war
PERSPECTIVE: Fare dodger unduly credited with heroics.
YOUR COMMENTS: Reader 'Jo' is missing the little things
PAGE INFLATION: Boosting stats by repeating information on multiple pages passed off as new content.
ROYALS: Duchess of Cambridge shoots down pregnancy rumours. Wonder where those rumours came from...
POLL: Sarcasm or not? YOU decide.
SEX ATTACKS: Feminist Liz Jones strikes again
AMANDA PLATELL: "I've known about Westminster sex attacks for years. Wonder why I didn't report it before...?"
FACTS: David Cameron to spend Easter in Lanzarote. Here's some info we found on Wikipedia passed off as an article.
RIP: Peaches Geldof's mysterious death explained; it was all Aleister Crowley's fault...
FEMININISM: Our new obsession - stopping women looking too fat during pregnancy
FEMININISM: Update on *those* pregnancy rumours; they're all bullshit.
POLL RESULTS: Yesterday we asked this question: https://twitter.com/DMReporter/status/453578470158008320
And the answer is... Amanda Platell.
RIP PEACHES GELDOF: Aaaaand... the body's cold (bikini pictures).
SLOW NEWS DAY: Pensioners 'shocked face' deemed excessive considering relative importance of news story
RIP PEACHES GELDOF: Reader 'Kathy Allen' cannot wait for comment moderation to express her grief
POLITICS: Cameron unveils new royal response unit to curb immigration
RIP PEACHES GELDOF: Reader 'ovolut' cuts right to the tragic heart of the story
SATIRE: Nope, can't beat this one.
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