Actor, writer, comedian. Jack of all trades master of about two. Contains moderate swearing (under 16s beware).
Twitter! God, I missed you. Back in UK. I brought you those false erect nipples you wanted
Comedy Awards goodie bag. Highlights: pocket guide to Dubai ("Sale. Everything Must Go"?) and a bowel cancer foam bum
Where have these people been? It'll never happen. Unless it's a sperm bank or a w*nk one
Here's a sample of some of the biting Holocaust-related satire I'll be unveiling tonight. Ouch! http://bit.ly/5pLACa
Normal tweeting will be resumed soon
BBC take impartiality too far as they unveil new Children in Need mascot Pudgey
My new website is up. Come see! daveschneider.co.uk (ps all breakages must be paid for)
Ignore earlier tweet re my gay dating site pic. This 80s one is better.
Going mad uploading photos but think I've found my gay dating site pic
surely when someone suggested this for their company's name someone else should've said: bollocks
Say my name, Spider! Say my name! A glass and a Royal Mail You Were Out card's all I needed! Say my fucking name!
if we RT this (from Dundas St Edinboro) will it help true love or thrust spam in her inbox (not a euphemism)
good to see Edinburgh council's taken sex education onto the streets
Ladies. Re cleaning. Help me out. Will this mancleaned toilet pass the ladytest (would show you bowl but there are limits)
or the No animals were harmed in the making of this shirt jazzy option?
here's the V neck
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