Cyber Mango

@cybermango

Improving cost effectiveness by adding value, on a human face, forever. Why are you hanging off the earth like a bat?

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Very useful, autocorrect

Once these muhfuggahs fit well/feel good, I’ll wear them til I die. 10lbs down (3 down from pre-baby).The day cometh.

Exhibit D: between that tweet and this, I brushed up all of this from my stairs, which were spotless at 8am.

Exhibit C: I have to be constantly vigilant for blades, screws, etc on my floor/other toddler-unfriendly surfaces.

Exhibit B: my hall is virtually impassable.

Exhibit A: house was spotless at 5pm yesterday. By noon today, this is one of many scenes of devastation:

Child has taken to requiring that we walk her on a lead.

Here is the runny-nosed genius wearing that dress from earlier, which she demanded to put on as soon as she got home.

here’s the nightmare I was going to send, green paint and all

B’s new clothes. Why can’t these be MY new clothes?! :(

Remember bacon jam? Yeah, this kills it.

Congrats to all of the couples, but especially to and xxx

We went to the Big Wedding Weekend today and saw 10 couples get married. It was so lovely. http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/festival-of-love/big-wedding-weekend

Those courgettes messed with the wrong woman. Take heed, bitches.

So my driver did not deliver my new phone yesterday because he “could not gain access” to my house.

Me and Jack hanging out #slashtag

“With independence looking more and more possible, does your mountain water consider itself European?” No, it’s . . .

hey, you’re not all bad :D