Improving cost effectiveness by adding value, on a human face, forever. Why are you hanging off the earth like a bat?
Very useful, autocorrect
Once these muhfuggahs fit well/feel good, I’ll wear them til I die. 10lbs down (3 down from pre-baby).The day cometh.
Exhibit D: between that tweet and this, I brushed up all of this from my stairs, which were spotless at 8am.
Exhibit C: I have to be constantly vigilant for blades, screws, etc on my floor/other toddler-unfriendly surfaces.
Exhibit B: my hall is virtually impassable.
Exhibit A: house was spotless at 5pm yesterday. By noon today, this is one of many scenes of devastation:
Child has taken to requiring that we walk her on a lead.
Here is the runny-nosed genius wearing that dress from earlier, which she demanded to put on as soon as she got home.
@Dintby here’s the nightmare I was going to send, green paint and all
B’s new clothes. Why can’t these be MY new clothes?! :(
Remember bacon jam? Yeah, this kills it.
Congrats to all of the couples, but especially to @ghostbeardmahdi and @Floodleoodle xxx
We went to the Big Wedding Weekend today and saw 10 couples get married. It was so lovely. http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/festival-of-love/big-wedding-weekend
Those courgettes messed with the wrong woman. Take heed, bitches.
So my @officialukmail driver did not deliver my new phone yesterday because he “could not gain access” to my house.
Me and Jack hanging out #slashtag
“With independence looking more and more possible, does your mountain water consider itself European?” No, it’s . . .
@Southern_Trains hey, you’re not all bad :D
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