Alan William Harris

@collarsup

I am a freelance writer/director by trade. I also play the ukulele, ride an orange Vespa, and share a one bedroom apartment with two cats. Yeah, I'm that guy.

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she sure is!

Jessica () just found a picture of you in the future. After your nose job.

Having a little too much fun decorating Hanukkah cookies. #thingsiamdoingrightnow #worsthashtags

digging the new place. Private roof deck totally worth living in a shoebox. #housewarming

Nothing sadder than an aging bounty hunter playing the Star Wars theme on accordion. #bobafett #nycc

. and I just got back from 's wedding. Wow. What an emotional roller-coaster ride.

. and I just got back from 's wedding. Wow. What an emotional roller-coaster ride.

. and I just got back from 's wedding. Wow. What an emotional roller-coaster ride.

. and I just got back from 's wedding. Wow. What an emotional roller-coaster ride.

You know you're staying at a classy hotel when there's a portrait of Sammy Hagar above the toilet. #BeverlyLaurel

Now that is "bicoastal," meetings of the NYC Backgammon Society have become uncommon place. #inLA

And you thought #HumanCentipede was controversial... Try Cat Centipede on for size. #justmycatsinaline

You know a restaurant is good when young Tony Danza endorses it. #juniors #Brooklyn

The 9/11 memorial lights from the Brooklyn Heights promenade in my hood. Epic.

know any good jokes about this mural? What's NASA stand for again? I forget.

Meet Orlando-- Kinko's employee by day, respectful graffiti artist by night. #photocopiesarethenewspraypaint

It's odd enough people think I look like Jason Schwartzman, but now #BoredToDeath has him riding my Vespa! Really?!

P.S. This is the first time I've ever used the binoculars my dad bought me when I was 12. Awesome gift. Thanks, pop.

At the #USOpen. The tennis players are pretty good, but man, can these ball boys hustle. Go, ball boy, go!

Gowanus bridge is out!! Super tempted to jump it. #dukesofgowanus