If you're reading this and wearing Crocs, please unfollow.
LOKO'd by @mattyglesias
Loud applause coming from inside here:
Who do you suppose was the guest of honor at last night's "Douchebag Q & A"? #douchebagqanda
Get a brain,
You know who you are:
A wedding where they spell my name right: @akmattos @asymmetricinfo
More unsettling green/yellow line activity:
Grave danger on the green/yellow line:
I think I've stumbled upon the false idol in question. #aquabuddha
Summer in Seattle:
World's dumbest headline:
Big fan of Echofon's Twitter ads. Big fan.
Where you'll find the body
We've stopped here where, presumably, I will be murdered.
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