Because I'm hilarious. And you can never have too many Googles.

My lovely view from the Potomac. History #geekout

Uh, hey guys? Are you sure this is yogurt? Because it looks like a wang.

Is that an animal? A bug? No, it's just someone's weave. Oh, Mason...

No. Not okay. Shut it down.

Does this qualify as a Cake Wreck? Because it's hella ugly and off-putting.

Our darling little rat girl, Lulu, died today. We miss her very much. :(

Apparently there was a run on the butter at Wegman's. I can only assume that there is some sort of zombie event.

I am being squished by two cats!

Oh my. The sweater my 84-year-old grandmother bought for my nephew. Yes, those are Westies.

...these don't seem to be the lyrics to Eric Clapton's "Layla."

Why would they keep this in the doctor's office?!?

Because more boxers should really scream, "I'm a pirate!"

Resisting purchasing this! Couldn't resist the game.

There may be too many key options at Home Depot. I like the pink Harley Davidson one.

You won't cover Sophie up in a blanket? Sophie will cover HERSELF up in a blanket.

Laser Lincoln is watching you.

My best girl.

You mean I can get paid for it??

Great bumper sticker, or the greatest bumper sticker? (seriously, ?)