Andrew Shaffer

@andrewtshaffer

...is a hot mess. Books include 50 Shames of Earl Grey (Da Capo), Literary Rogues (Harper). Writes for Mental Floss, Maxim, RT Book Reviews, Suicide Girls.

Photos and Videos by @andrewtshaffer

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. FYI. You misspelled "penis" on your album cover.

This graphic was in an email from Starbucks. I think they're trying to come on to me.

It's almost Thanksgiving, which reminds me I created this abominable e-card last year...

"What is best in life? To crush your enemies and hear the lamentations of their tweets." -

It sounds better with man boobs.

Actually, I did… ;)

Star of "Finding Bigfoot" is suspiciously large, hairy. Maybe it will be a twist ending, like he was bigfoot all along?

This is the only "bigfoot" TV show I would ever watch. It would have to be on Showtime or HBO obviously.

FACT: Abraham Lincoln never once smiled in his lifetime. (My source for this is Spielberg's LINCOLN trailer.)

"Stop looking at cats online, and go vote." via

Do your civic duty.

This says all the things.

Your gravestone is ready.

Snoop Dogg is shilling for Hot Pockets. There's an anti-drug message here somewhere.

The tattoo is mine. Here it is.

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Nietzsche's mustache is AMAZING on the Brazilian cover for "Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love."

And now: Charlie Brown in gimp costume on a leash, from the series Drawn Together.

Obama's October surprise is more shocking than I expected...

Obama's new campaign poster is a shocker.

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