author. screenwriter. melancholic.
I would legally change my first name to Huge.
GREAT NEWS: you can now buy cocaine-infused coffee at Ralph's!!
Mmmm, I would've gone with Douche on the top, Bag on the bottom, and then DCHEBAG on the plate.
RT @3rdand10 Ladies, there's no such thing as a "classy" tattoo. // Puhhhhhhhlease. (this is my hip.)
@clarkekant here I am giving vaginal birth to my dogter.
Is this how you know when they're in heat??
This little guy came straight from the gay bar to the dog park.
In honor of Black History Month, I will proudly tell my children I participated in the Chocolate Underground.
My dog fell asleep sitting up with her eyes open. What should I draw on her forehead?
In one fell swoop, Gucci Mane has put all my tattoos to shame.
Ran into Professor Denim in the ER. He told me now that it's 2011, we're allowed to match our washes!
Happy holidays everyone. Mom put me in a suit for the card.
This is my new workout. (You have to do it while huffing fumes, or you won't see results.)
This is Christmas's third squirrel lobotomy.
Really admire Bob Saget for taking feral children under his eagle wings.
Not only did the kids endure the "ginger" jokes, but more than that they endured the horror of NEVER BEING ALONE.
Made this for Brent when I was courting him. And I realized I forgot an L and fixed it, okay???
Joining me, @brentbradshaw as a "guy too into his dog."
For Halloween, going as someone way too into her dog.
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