Swimsuit model, ordained minister, breeder. Able to fold a fitted sheet. Has webbed toes. Eats sarcasm for breakfast. @SmutBookClub peddler.

Photos and Videos by @alotofnothing

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5 years to the day was rolled out of the hospital after a heart-related coma. Today, she's running a 5K.

It's Team at Expedition Everest Challenge!

Utter disbelief while watching "Friday" for the first time

How dare doubt my vodka drinking abilities. Pre-flight beverages RULE. #1stklasswhores

The food on the last flight was above par. Plus we got warm choc chip cookies & milk. #1stklasswhores

From Carter's, needs this shirt

My baby view

We are learning about breastfeeding on the hospital TV. Apparently, boobs now shoot electricity into the baby's mouth.

Perk of being in a hospital: JELLO


I mean, SERIOUSLY. Show me something cuter. YOU CAN'T.

you could come down and meet me at disney world. driving there now.

Trailer 69.

Campfire hot dogs with the family

What is that lock with the circle arrow around it at the top of my iPhone screen? It just appeared this week.

Holy beautiful day at the coast for the shuttle launch.

SOMEone might have been a Fan Boy for

The most Euro family I've ever seen just sat in front of me. The baby even cries in European.

"life-size" Justin Bieber cutout at 70"? not likely.

I swear the people need to hire me as their number one fan/online promoter