Swimsuit model, ordained minister, breeder. Able to fold a fitted sheet. Has webbed toes. Eats sarcasm for breakfast. @SmutBookClub peddler.
This baby keeps pulling out her pacifier. You want this paci, you little punk.
Hey @mamaspohr I found your hair feathers.
Do you know what time it is? It's $2 GIANT SANGRIA TIME!
All of the other dips are tasty, but I'm partial to my Sweet Corn & Black Bean Salsa. #PerfectPairing
Dudes. I actually made something. Tostito's Sweet Corn & Bean Salsa #PerfectPairing @sthrnfairytale would be so proud!
I have my tissues ready for Harry Potter. BRINGS IT ON, JK!
(free) Bucket o' booze at Fud's
Eff yeah, beach!
That guy is hot. #DRUNKPANGIE
So sleepy. #DRUNKPANGIE
If I drink enough, the heat will cease to matter, right? #DRUNKPANGIE
Who thought outdoor activities were appropriate ob a day with no wind and 97* heat? Clearly not me.
We are now at the part where we sit under the old lady hairdryer to dry the pink with the uncut hair on our head.
I think it's a good look.
DUDES. There is a kid in this playpark with a Flock of Seagulls haircut. I swear.
Worst marketing promotion packaging ever. @KloutPerks "Here's your free stuff, covered in dirt." #fallenskies
Original #planking gangsta
Holy moly! My @CurvyGirlTweets are on @GMA in their #landsend swimsuits! SO proud of you guys.
Allison Janney got a wicked face lift. #StarTours
Wikki Stix may be non-toxic, but what makes them stick? I'll just believe it's magic.
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