This is a Velociraptor-free Twitter bio. It has proudly been 25,915,000,002 days since the last incident.
@SineadKeenan haha maybe you could be. He's been fed though, he just really likes these treats. Also he's pampered.
I don't like coke, but if I did, maybe @CHIMPSINSOCKS
I saw this and thought of @lord__harry
This is on my works guide to shoes. I feel it should be in the guide to life.
I just found these in my Grandma's cupboard and thought of @Markgatiss for some reason.
Want a pear @w0nderwoman__ ?
Cos he's gorgeous
Read this as "Win Benedict Cumberbatch".
This photo does not show how awesome my hair was. And now it's probably been ruined by rain. Stupid rain.
My kitten has fallen asleep sat up. He's ridiculously cute...
Not sure why this is so fucking hard for people to understand...
Is this you @soozles_ ??
@CoffeeandJack I am here
Simon's Cat Toothbrush
Moggie is exhausted by Christmas
@CoffeeandJack nah I have alternative TARDIS.
@russell_kane my cat is called Keith too. SNAP. Here's my Keith:
I love my little smiley cat
I really love that @rickygervais is such an animal lover. So I shall show him my cat wearing tinsel.
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