Can't believe I shaved my legs for this.
I keep it super classy around the holidays. This will be deleted.
I represent classier ranks of fatherhood.
@SnarkToast you did nothing, it's a gift I bestow upon those who are worthy
Feel my shameless self promotion.
Sometimes you wake up and your beard looks like this. Apparently drinking and good choices do not walk hand & hand.
Todays my daughter's 7th birthday. Look what my dad got her, a happy BDay subject line email, very thoughtful, dick.
You rang? @_TayTayJustine
Found this sweet ass pic of Air Bud watching Malcolm in the middle. @OBiiieeee's favorite TV show.
Because when I I don't take enough of you I get #SlimeBlock @fiber.
That guy who wears little brown shorts & handle packages has some myopic drones. Look at his mentions on this tweet.
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT @BarackObama. EVERYTHING. #SlimeBlock
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! #SlimeBlock
The only reason @thatUPSDude works for UPS is his desire to handle... *eh hem* ..."packages." #SlimeBlock
#SlimeBlock is what happens when Slimer's bros keep him from getting his freak on.
Never heard of this idiot. I'm better for it. @BaconHuffer is a woman beater & a self important douche. #SlimeBlock
Blocked @TheFunnyRedneck for myriad reasons a) Stupid Avi 2) He steels tweets iii) The WORST @ name ever. #SlimeBlock
I am so screwed.
*buys all the weapons*
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