Sky Mall wants you dead in a car crash.

McDungeon

McDungeon.

Sanremo, Italy: Let's go!

Neighbor's dog adbucted. Neighbor's dog warshed.

@madisonindenver bwahaha

Teaching me tips and tricks on Mario Sunshine. Oh grandparents, Why must thou be so cool..

If my grandma had her way, our family would look more like this:

If my grandma had her way, our family would look more like this. #mygrandparentsarebetterthanyours

Dear, ACU official who decides if classes are canceled: you know what you need to do.

This book adds insult to injury

Just gave a round-house kick to a chair accidentally. You're next Chuck Norris.

Just gave this chair a round-house kick to this chair accidently. You're next chuck Norris

My deli meat thinks it's a box of crackerjack. That's one gross baseball card.

@lindajbailey Be careful who you park next to. It might just be one of these

Can anyone lend me 5 bucks?

when you are scheduling your wedding date, be sure to plan around seismic activity. Thanks @big_picture.

wants you to come to the Wishing Well event, donate $, enjoy live music, and free baked goods and coffee!

@lindajbailey 's favorite day of the year. Wait...something's not right here