Ellen DeGeneres

@TheEllenShow

Comedian, talk show host and ice road trucker. My tweets are real, and they’re spectacular.

Photos and Videos by @TheEllenShow

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So far, I’m still not invited to the Royal Wedding. But if I am, I’m planning on wearing this.

  • 1226 days ago via site
  • 93,247

More reason I’m glad to be a woman.

  • 1226 days ago via site
  • 75,836

His breed must be doing well this season.

  • 1227 days ago via site
  • 63,343

There are a lot of things I like in this picture. The orange spring board cover is not one of them.

  • 1227 days ago via site
  • 56,364

It’s hard to be a dinosaur.

  • 1227 days ago via site
  • 77,203

You make a better window than a door.

  • 1228 days ago via site
  • 66,318

She should meet my writer . She doesn’t do well on roller coasters either.

  • 1228 days ago via site
  • 39,388

One at a time, please.

  • 1228 days ago via site
  • 73,358

Would you like some gum?

  • 1231 days ago via site
  • 75,074

I'd rather buy one, get one free.

  • 1231 days ago via site
  • 68,238

It's true. It isn't a very good dog.

  • 1231 days ago via site
  • 57,958

What do you mean you don’t like my hat?

  • 1232 days ago via site
  • 68,368

I’ve done “Downward Dog,” but I’ve never tried “Napping Kitty.”

  • 1232 days ago via site
  • 52,578

I’m pretty sure they don’t sell self-esteem.

  • 1233 days ago via site
  • 77,060

Have you ever woken up in the wrong bed?

  • 1233 days ago via site
  • 166,464

Hi Jason!

  • 1234 days ago via site
  • 81,704

Some people like to go upside down on roller coasters. Some people don't.

  • 1234 days ago via site
  • 70,715

Nobody sees the baby without ID.

  • 1235 days ago via site
  • 91,572

Wait ’til you hear what they do to the trespassers.

  • 1235 days ago via site
  • 60,432

You’d think this job was a piece of cake.

  • 1235 days ago via site
  • 74,077