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My iPhone is actin up so bad I changed my background graphic to this. It seems fitting.

Tonight an overflow crowd in Houston celebrated the return of . #HometownHero

Charlie Daniels is a badass. Bleachin my beard white as soon as I get home.

Breaking Obvious News: Scientist prove Oreos as addictive as cocaine. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2462624/Oreos-addictive-cocaine-Connecticut-College-scientists.html

Wise words from today.

Hey Y'all gonna need more cowbell. #GeauxTigers

Just like Caller Chaos' friend, I'm makin all kind of cake today. #ImABaker

Hey , you going to watch the series finale of #BreakingBad tonight? #BreakingHealthcare

Hey , you going to watch the series finale of #BreakingBad tonight? #BreakingHealthcare

ICYMI: Barack Obama is #BreakingHealthcare

A tribute to the end of #BreakingBad & the end of America's great healthcare system.

Barack says #Obamacare is good for Americans?!??!

I hope concludes by turnin the mic sideways, droppin it on the Senate floor & walkin out.

#CruzFilibusterReading Read this book next, Ted. It's a true story. #MakeDCListen #DOJUnchained

Tonight's #KeyAndPeele moment on Sunday Night Football is brought to you by JERRICHO COTCHERY.

I redecorated for football season. #EveryGameEverySunday

Don't be alarmed, folks. The apocalypse hasn't begun. It's just the median-dwelling sales force of the .