One crazy mother..of boys. Lover of comedy and vodka.

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Caption #2 attention young girls this is why you should wear underwear. This could have been more embarrassing.

I don't know these girls but they look super fun.

And this is what my Monday morning texts consist of. I've never been told this.

Pure love!

Damn you little bitches.

Someone forgot their pants. And it wasn't me. You're welcome.

He's my fave piece of chocolate & he's single!!

Shits going down people!

My bartender just said "drink this ask questions later." hope I'm not roofied.

you're in a bikini on the Today Show!

Do you ever feel like someone is watching you?

If this is you're bumper sticker I'm kicking you in the twat.

In celebration of being breast cancer free, I got my beads tonight.

Please tell me I don't have double vision!

a still small voice told me you should see this.

be careful who you ask on twitter to hang out with you.

definition of a comedian according to my kids card game.

Mini martini Tuesday! Yummy!

Okay? How the hell do I open the door?

Trampoline basketball!