Prettier and smarter than you. And your mom. Professional e-thugger of fools. I make horses my bitches. Keith Olbermann asked for my number. I said no.
Hi, @peta. It tickles me to show you this.
Roasting marshmallows over our burning Korans. I apologize for nothing, Barack.
My penance for hiding out at the country club most of the day. #Fail
@ChelseaGrunwald I was a virgin by choice at 18. #IAmTheThirtyPercent @mark_heat3
@drgarym Today she is a perfectly normal almost 3 year old with few lasting complications. @DavidLimbaugh
.@DavidLimbaugh I didn't believe in miracles until she survived.
The sparkly gold lipstick case that's NOT FOR THE GIRL. #PsychoticMotherInLaw
My favorite thing is when a liberal takes me to task for not respecting Che Barack simply because he's the POTUS.
I feel you. @sunandlavender This is what my mother in law gave He Gucci for his 5th birthday.
@Jonbonjewvi I'm prepared though.
@batcrapcrazy Me too!
@nerdyjess Hopefully it won't take too long considering how gigantic my glass is.
Hi, @TheBidnis. #pumpkin
Trying again, though it's less awesome the second time. @cebsilver
@TenaciousLauraD I bought these. They come in brown. You should get a pair and we can be twins in Vegas!
Getting ready to go out with the girls. Will likely be drunk and available for an anonymous birthday makeout session in just a couple hours.
@thepurseblogger Here's mine. Just left the gym. #yikes
@thepurseblogger @BBandAblog This is the Dr. who delivered He Gucci. I may have asked him to marry me.
Rapture panties, take two.
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