Smut writer, but I wanted to be a marine biologist. I like booze, John Candy & breakfast.
FINALLY hooked up my vodka IV drip! Party time!
Hey! You look like a good, normal scholar who we can all trust!
I met @robdelaney and all I got was fingered.
@livviesmalls Thinking about you, baby girl!
I'm not joking. IT'S A FUCKING BABY. Somebody call social services.
I WANT TO BE INSIDE YOU.
DOUBLE AMPUTEE PORN
Tramps as far as the eye can see!
Trampin with @lunchyprices!
Happy Valentine's Day!
I need a window decal that's simple, yet strong...subtle, yet descriptive...classy, yet daring...#CharlieSheen
Just any other Saturday night...
"Because remembering shit is totally overrated."
Stop it! I'm trying to eat!
The 1st time he saw Seabiscuit, the colt was walking through the fog at 5 in the morning. Reeking of cheap booze & bad decisions...
Dead or alive, you're coming on me.
Just made capes for all my dogs. Next thing on tonight's agenda? Murder-suicide.
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